Writer's block.

*Gulps* am I suffering from writer's block? I think I am. Actually I don't think so, it's a bit too extreme, don't you think? I have a lot of things to tell you all but I just couldn't express it into words...yet.

I MUST MAKE BLOG POST...soon.

Please, bear with me...

Netherlands.

I'm simply excited for Holland (Utrecht & Amsterdam this weekend! I'm going to see SIGN MARK, the famous Deaf rapper, OH MY GOD!!! I love his song ''smells like victory'' - it's excellent, I totally love beats!! Oh yes. I just finish packed earlier this afternoon, I was worried about the restricted size and I had to buy mini toiletries under 100ml apparently Easy Jets are very strict. *gulps* I just pray that it will be okay why? Because I'm flat broke, simply as that. :(but *fingers crosses and gulps* The theme is ''Winter Wonderland'' I couldn't be bother to dress up, as it's freezing outside. The important thing is that I stay warm at the moment. I'm indeed excited to meet new people and try my best to use IS (International Sign) as it's a bit rusty at the moment, let us deafies sign awaaay. 

http://www.blogger.com/%20http://www.your-sencity.com%20%20

I will tell you all about it when I'm back. :D 

World AIDS day.

Today is World AIDS Day 2010. Over 90.000 people are living with HIV in the UK and new infections continue everyday. World AIDS Day 2010 is all about raising awareness to tackle HIV prejudice and help stop the spread of HIV.

We must continue to join together in our commitment to fight HIV infection and AIDS by providing opportunities to educate; promote awareness; and create community dialogue about prevention, care and treatment.

TAKE ACTION. AIDS IS NOT OVER.

http://www.worldaidsday.org/

A snowy day is better than a rainy day.

WOOOW.



No. No. No. It cannot be December the first ALREADY. How we just ended our last day of November is just fantastic - it has begin to snow.. (funny that. I literally sing ''don't let it snow, don't let it snow, don't let it snow all day on Monday, and talk about Karma. It is a bitch). I personally hate snow but it is no harm of saying that watching snow fallen on the wet grass can be breathtaking. My experience driving in the snow has certainly make me confident than normal, and I don't know what was triggering it. I didn't stall or anything at all. I was almost perfect. AMAZING. I'm getting excited for my driving test now. Coming home with a huge grin on my face and discovered that my younger siblings has broken out of school earlier than usual. They were playing snow fight, Hanni wouldn't leave me alone, she keep giggled and hitted me with snow, so I joined into the fight and it was a barrel of laughs. Afterward, I helped Ayuub making a snowman, but he wasn't happy because Ahmed has gone and ruined it. Maybe we will make another one tomorrow...but bigger. :D

We're coming to an end of the year 2010..this is so surreal and scary..because time does flies fast. I know what I need to do in year 2011, I just need to make the most of it, and without any regrets. For New Year Eve's - I'm staying home, stay warm, maybe having some Indian takeaways with the family and watch the fireworks. Now that's the plan. :D


♥

DSPY.

A night of glam...
People was caked in make up, dresses, ties, suits and high hells.

At Wembley Station, for Deaf Sport Personality of the year Awards 2010 with 900 people attended.

A fantastic night..despite the icy cold weather, brr.

Eid Mubarak.

On Tuesday 16th November 2010, a wonderful day filled with smiles, laughs, hugs & happiness. Four families getting together, enjoy the feast, and our company. May Allah bless us. Masha'Allah.

Abbreviations.

Don't you just hate it when people ends a conversatiom with an ''LOL'' genuis.


I just hates people who uses an ''LOL'' to ends a conversation, that is all. Earlier on, I was browsing the net and I found this, finally a someone truly hates abbreviations. I personally don't mind it, but it can be annoying sometime.


'My friend’s father says that people who use a lot of swear words only do so because they have a limited vocabulary (a comment that has prompted my current attempt to stop swearing).




I feel the same way about abbreviations.



''I can’t abide an LOL, a j/k, or, especially, a ROFL LMAO when there are so many beautiful words you can use! I was thrilled by the advent of QWERTY keyboard mobile phones, since it meant I no longer had to slowly type out every word in my stubbornness. And hurrah for the iPhone, which lets me go on and on using words like “abhorrent” and “incubator” (okay, I’ve never texted the word incubator, but I like knowing that I could).



The same goes for Twitter. Those 140 characters present a challenge to get a message across as succinctly as possible. And it is possible. An entire day can be summed up by saying “The cheeseburger I had for dinner makes up for the fact that I drove into a pond this morning. Sort of.” It’s compelling, it’s amusing, it’s thought-provoking.



Compare that to this: I drv my car in2 a pond ths mrning, now have 2 pay 3k 2 fix, total #fail LOL. But hving awesome cheezburger now @TGIFridays w/pickles #ftw



I don’t even want to try to read it. It makes my eyes sad.'' - I LOVE THIS.


So do abbreviations save time and space or are they just irritating?
DISCUSS.

Friends.

After a few months I've had, I now know the meaning of ''friends'' and I have come to a realisation that there's ONLY two types of friends; True friends who stands by you, be there for you, comfort you, let you cry on their shoulder. Face book friends, who you just say 'hey' occasionally at Deaf events/parties and feel awkward if there's silence between you for a few seconds, who you bumped into once every year or a few, and have a short catch up, you both just go your own, get on with your own lives and forget about each other until you crossed each other's paths again.


After everything that had happened, I'm starting to feel like Moona again, I finally find myself smiling more often, I stopped having nightmares which I'm glad or just stupidly cry or get so angry over such ridiculous stuffs ( funnily enough, I normally don't get angry.) Two weeks ago I starts to go to gym  and I decided that I want to lose weight but I have a huge problem, I love foods too much but I still exercise more often, and I WILL TRY DO IT! My favourite classes are water workout and step up, they made me feel so great!! I'm learning to drive again after stopped for a month and a half, and I'm looking forward to my driving test anyway, in a couple of months. :)


One certain person once told me, that is my mother, she said to me ''you don't need friends to makes your own dreams'' & ''the only person you can always trust is yourself'' and I did had a few flashbacks from my past, I have been betrayed and it wasn't a nice feeling. That is when it hitted me,  no-one is perfect, and everyone had friends like this. I think I know who are my friends, and I very much thank them for complete me, otherwise I wouldn't be the Moona I will be today, so thank you all, and you know who you are, lucky people.
Muchas loves.

I want to be a vampire.

My obsession with vampires is strange. I love TV series, films, books about vampires for instance; True Blood, Vampire Diaries, Twilight Saga books and so on. It is very fascintating because every single series has portrayed vampires in a different way, and sometime I wonders where the hell do they get ideas form? It certainly make me wonders, does vampire exist? Being a vampire is exciting, it has the the unbelieveably beauty, the speed, the strength, and the abilities of compelling people. Funnily enough, in True Blood, being a vampire ain't a bad thing whereas in Vampire Diaries, it does. Know what I wouldn't mind being a vampire, and I'd reckon I will be one sexy mama, hehe.

Everytime Damon Salvator appears on my TV screen, I couldn't stop drooling over him, come to me and Stefan is FIT, that strong cheekbones he has, lucky Elena, and erm Katherine.

I'd prefer Jacob Black any day rather than some ancient posh, pale, ice cold Edward Cullens, mm..

Sookie is a very bizzare person, but I love Jason Stackhouse, who wouldn't want a piece of him? :P but reading minds obviously has it own advantages

*sniggers* I found it on google and I had to put it up on it and it's quite very true. Coming to think of it, there's one disadvantage about vampires, it is the biting part makes my skin crawls, it is giving me goosebumps every time I see blood dripping... *shudders* I think I change my mind of wanting to be a vampire. :P

Rita.

Rita Sapakota, the beautiful, funny, genuine, kind, friendly, respectful well known ever girl walked this earth.

Now, I have finally brought myself to talk about her, Rita Sapakota. You might be wondering who is she?

Well, it's very painful to talk about her, and its more difficult for me to finally accepted that she has passed away.


Sadly on 8th July, the morning of her death...I was doing my usual routine and after gotten too much message on my phone, it's very unlike for me to have this much messages at this time of the day and someone must be very agitated to contact me, the first person I read is Matthew, so I scroll up and up, with a very confusing looks on my face and he mentions that he's sorry but I couldn't understand why. and I realise that Rita is dead, I was having a mixed of feelings, heartbroken, angry, upset, confusing, and I have the urge to shouts but I couldn't and honestly I thought it was a VERY sick joke, but I knew it's not like them and then I read Abigail's and other people too. I quickly texted Dipa and Carolyn, as I don't believe the news, and I will accept it if they have confirmed it. And I realise Cindy and Ola didn't know, so I passed down the messages. I just broken down in tears whilst writing the message to them, I phoned Rita's sister and her dad, and no answers.


If I remembered correctly, my head was in such a state, feeling so frustrated, honestly, and now I'd realised why people get so emotional, fragile and depressed, I finally could empathise them. It was so painful experience to struggling through. I wouldn't wish that on someone else, not even my own enemies. I knew this is the cycle of the life, people are born and eventually they has to die, but I never understood, why? I hate the question ''why?'' because no one really has the right answers to it.


I was left feeling so upset and very hurt. I know people who had been passed away but no one who was so close to me, a part of myself, my life, my experience, my family, and it was becoming too much for me. i just keep crying, praying myself, please do not let this be so true. I went out but I kept all the feelings bottled up inside me, and when I came home a few hours later, I just bursting out sobbing and fall on my knee, my sister Monira, she knew exactly how I felt and it wasn't easier, because it's a few years ago when her good mate got stabbed at one of the party and left to die. But it was different situation, Steven Lewis was killed but Rita didn't want to live, and she took away her life, and I never got the answers..until now, it's an unexplained death.


Strangely enough, it just was a very few days before, me and Katrina meet up for lunch and a bit of chit chat, we actually made plans to visit Nepal, and visit Chitwaan, I wasn't allowed to visit her during VSO due to the high malaria levels in that area and we made plans to stay at Rita's house for a weekend or so too. I was on my way home, with a smile from the cheek to cheek, planning, how much would I need, and when should I book the tickets and etc. I knew Rita will be over the moon to see me again, I'd want to see her wonderful smile and her infamous sparkle in her eyes and also it was a perfect chance to give her some thing she want from England, and no it's not baked beans, ha ha.


A few months passed away, I literally am going through this by myself, I refuse to talk about her with anyone, but I sometime often talk about her with  Samira, Khayrun and Humera, but it doesn't help and I have pictures of her, but when I looked really deep in her eyes, I could tell she's alive and happy somewhere out there.. but I must have this fact stay inside my head, that she's gone forever and if I'm being honestly, I think the hard part of this is when I last saw her was on Wednesday 9th April, I didn't said ''goodbye'' I signed ''see you later'' in Nepali sign language. I only did this was because I didn't believe in goodbyes, and I hate saying goodbyes, I always thinks, what's the point into saying goodbyes when you KNOW you will see them again some day and I regretted it every day, because I didn't know it will be the last time I saw her. I just want to talk to her once more time, and hug her, and laugh with her. But I think really hard, and I know why she done this, I finally accepted it and move on, it was her wish, her choice and we got to learn to respect her wishes.


On Saturday 18th September 2010, we hold a service in Rita's memory, how brilliant is she, how she had achieved a lots throughout her life, she learnt how to sign when she was 17 years old, after struggling communication, language barriers and how she fitted in England, people adores her and her love for England. Nick Moxon spokes out very beautifully words from the bible, along with Amy's poem, Carolyn's speech and myself & Matthew signed song dictated to her, ''I believe I can fly'' by R.Kelly. After this we light up some candles, I feels blessed and happy that she has a good send off service and also I finally accepted the fact she's gone but she's always will be in my heart, and now she is in heaven, smiling and looking down on us. Deep inside I know she's happy, she's somewhere out there smiling.


A few finally words, we all love you, always and forever. xx xx xx xx


http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=131703923536902&v=photos&ref=ts#!/group.php?gid=131703923536902&v=wall&so=105

Deaf Art.

Art has no meaning to me all my whole life, but until I had seen their beautiful, inspiring art works, and now I had realised the meaning of art. The Deaf artist expressed their deafness into the painting and it has lots of meaning, feelings, passion all into one translation of a painting. Myself have met the artists, at Deaf Art show show in Nepal, the wonderful art painted by Anirban Dasgupta, Rasmi Amatya, M.C Ganesh Shetty and Sripathy Konada. Here are some of my favourites. :)

What is love?

LOVE.
What is love?

How does it feels being in love?

How do you know it is love?

Do you really love them?

But what love really means?

Google apparently think they have the answer to everything.... but they don't have all the answers, and it is indeed interesting...why? Because no-one mention that it will break your heart, a some of warning would be nice beforehand though.

IF only I knew love was that painful, or that I might come across as fragile and heartbroken, I wouldn't fallen in love in the first place but again, a wise person once told me, you only fell in love once. I still don't know if I have been in love before or not..but she says I will know just like that. I guess I have something to looking forward to now... :D 

Cardiff BABY!

CARDIFF!!! CARDIFF!!! CARDIFF!!! CARDIFF!!!

I'm so frigging excited and I have never been to Wales before...I have been asked to go to Wales, I never could...but in 2 weeks time. For NDCS training level 1...I'm looking forward to meeting new people, and learn things such as volunteer boundaries & confidentiality, health & safety, and etc. BUT the most thing I'm looking forward is to seeing Heather Louise Thomas she's one of my bestie (who have thought we would become such good friends, haha) It had been a year now since I last saw her before I was commited to six month project..I'm looking forward to our bitching session, meals, drinks, boat ride, and etc. :) I'm excited excited excited. :DDD Thanks to Blackberry, we literally spoken every day, but it's more often now...and it's good thing. When she moved in Cardiff, I will try and visit her more often, seeing that she will have her own flat..bring on the houseparties. *dances* :) I hope I won't bump into sheeps there...:P

Indian beauty!

The very first time I wore a sari. why? For a laugh, to look beautiful, to show off, and to take loads of pictures with Rita and the family I've stayed & lived with for the whole three months. When I went out in sari, people just dropped their mouths, I was chuckled inside and I was pleased but shy in a way and my neighbours were asking me ''are you indian?'' but I'm not indian but I'm very flattered to be called one. The beautiful redish sari with beautifully gold design, along with a tight black tube top, with make up and end perfect with a tika. :)

An amaaaa-zing lake.

The amazing lake that we found almost in the middle of nowhere literally, when we 22 in total excitedly were on our way to Pokhara, after hours & hours, some of us begin to feel sick cause by the bumps of the roads, they weren't very good road at all. Some of us desperately need to go to toilet, so we stopped for a short break. When we saw that lake, we just go mad, running outside with our cameras and just clicking away. It was so breathtaking, it was like wow. I'd never though I would see something so beautiful in Nepal. It was very difficult to get on the beach, we had to walked down the steep hill, I was panicking, as I almost fell over but I kept my cool and carried on, with help from Matthew. :) the view was just blowing me away BUT the smell, not very much, its stink to be honest, and it smells like salt. Weird right?! And the weird part is I don't know what the lake is called...hmm. Mystery. right?!

I wish I could stop the time.

Blimey hell, where had time gone and I honestly can say I had actually forgetten all about it, I was planned to put pictures and some short stories but time had flies too quickly. I will upload few more pictures from Nepal, Africa, Turkey and many more. Bye xx

FUNFAIR!

I just love funfairs, I mean who wouldn't? You'd be crazy to hate the roller coasts...

Since from I was a little girl I always had a fear, a REALLY bad fear of heights but it just excite me, all that wild rush going through me, when I tried my hard to scream at the top of my lungs, but there's no sound coming out at all, and then I close my eyes really tight, and then the rides went downhill, through all those lopes, under, over and get water splashing on us, and down, and I just keep screaming, and screaming........and then STOP! I was gasp, panting, and try to catch my breath. Thanks god that it was over..

PHEW!!

After I looked at the photos, and oh my god it was really cringe to see myself, but I'm still scared of heights but I just love roller coast is it because I know I'm always safe, hm?

After the fourth rides, I was beginning to get really bad banging headaches, and I feel so sick, and I knew I just wanted to throw up, like now. When I smell those chips, and groans, I just ran out to the field, sweating, and try not to throwed up but I did.

A lesson to be learnt....

NEVER eat food before go on the rides, otherwise it will make you SICK!!

Fuck grammar!

Know what?

I'm now 20...

I didn't get the grammar in English, adverbs, nouns, verbs, plural, singles and etc...
like I don't know the difference between, made, makes, and make...!
I'm always confused which the specifically right words to use.
I'm utterly rubbish at past tenses, again...I don't get it when
people people use ''ed'' and ''ing'' in the same sentence, is it past or present?

What? what? what? what?
But if you think about it...
Noone's english is perfect, agree?!
But at least we can write and speak...
So we don't need to worry about that shit!

Or do we have to? :S

Volcanic Ash.

This morning, I woke up...so excited and I can't wait to get out of London, it was like ''bye bye COLD London and hello hello HOT Africa'' and then the phone rings, due to my deafness I couldn't hear/speak on the phone...I can see my daddy got angry to the other side of the phone, I did tried to read his lips but it was impossible and I don't know why...maybe it was his work or something and then mum came in my room and says ''darling, we're not going to Africa tonight'' my heart just drop and I just stop and go crazy, keep asking mum ''why why why'' and she said ''the flights got cancelled due to some volcanic ash problem''...

http://news.uk.msn.com/photos/photos.aspx?cp-documentid=153036031

After I went out, treating myself to a haircut and wandering around the streets in High St. I didn't see what I like and then I bought sushi, and cakes for family and back home. Tonight I'm planning to chill out in front of TV and RELAX.

My flight got delayed and now it's on Monday 19th April 2010, at 8pm....*fingers crossed* I will get on that plane. :P

A phone is a phone.

A phone is a phone, right?

It fucking doesn't matter what kind of brand you got, it don't matter if your phone have Internet or not, WHAT does matter is that if you CAN keep in touch with someone via text or call. that's perfect and I don't see whats the problem.

I has a blackberry myself and everyone is insanely obsessed with their blackberries, and I can honestly tell you I'm not pass that stage yet, I can't see how can people be on their blackberry 24/7 with their eyes glued on it...jeez, two of my sisters got a blackberry...I cannot get through to them, I actually had to PIN them, or text them.

People with blackberries always compared what brand are their, like curve 8520 or bold...9700 or 9800 or 8900 or whatever, people think some are shit..pft.

A phone is just a fucking phone, huh?!


People encouraged my Deaf sister, Samira to have a Blackberry, she keeps insisting not to, because she tried out my phone and she find it extremely BORING! she said ''blackberry is bored, I don't know why people always ogling over it, what do you do all day, go on face book on 24/7 - pfft, I have better thing to do with my life rather wasting my time on blackberries''


...and then I was like..aah, people are influenced over the latest technology. what people have, other people MUST have...damn you technologies.


And what the hell is going on with people having a war over blackberry and IPhone?


Can someone tell me whats going on? Anybody..

AFRICA.

AFRICA!!!  AFRICA!!! AFRICA!!! AFRICA!!!

I'm excited going there soon, I just got back from Nepal and I'm already bored of UK...It's not because I got bored easily, it's because I got nothing better to do here...like wasting my day, be a coach potato...err but no thanks.

Mum asked me to go with her, I did doubted it and then I realised what have I got to lose? So I just booked it yesterday and the funny thing is that I'm leaving....TOMORROW.

Am I insane, but plan things at the last minutes thrilled me, it makes my life a bit more excited, I believe. :)

I believe that anywhere is better than being here, and I like to visit the places around the world, I realised I love it, I love learning the other culture, religion, people, faiths, belief and it amazes me, sometime it blow me away...

I will definitely tell you about my trip to Africa, Kenya, Nairobi. :)

Until then, ciao.

Born to love chicken.

My obsession with chicken...

I LOVE CHICKEN, who know me, know that I love chicken, everytime I go out to the restaurants, I ALWAYS ordered something with chicken....

Despites everything, I never knew how meats made and how were they killed, after staying three months in Nepal, oh GOD. I actually witnessed saw a bunch of goats got butchered, and the blood was dripping everywhere (it was like a scene from a scary films) and it just gives me goose bumps and I just can’t get the imagines out of my fucking head!! *groans* I feel sick for a bit afterward.

In Nepal culture, they’re against eating beef, as it’s their beliefs, they believe that the cows are the goddess and they worshipped them, because they believe that the cows are the way of the life.

In all restaurants in Nepal you won’t find ANY beef on the menu, not eating beef for 3 months, and now I’m back to England, I can’t stand the sights/smell of beef, and I swore to myself i want to be a vegetarian one day myself, I did tried it myself, two weeks and after this I just couldn’t do it, I ordered myself a huge plate of chicken momos and suffered them down, and it was delicious, just like heaven. I realised from that moment...I can’t be a vegetarian; maybe it is because I love chicken too much...hmm, how interesting.

My ''poem'' about chicken...it might sound a bit stupid but funny!! (I think)

''Chicken, I grew up eating chicken all the time,

chicken all kind, I eat it with rice, in a bun, with chips, with salads and moreee...

It's so crispy, soft and tender all inside..it's so golden brown and it smells delicious...

I can't live without it, it's like my own brand of drugs and I can't live with it,

without it I go mad, and I will probably gone cold turkey without it.

I love you chicken :P''

Happy Nepal New Year.

HAPPY NEW '2067' YEAR

Namaste all, I'm wishing you all a Happy 'Nepal' New Year 2067, it's a new beginning to make a new fresh start, but we never forget our loved ones who made us who we are today. this year must be fill by happiness and love :)

Today, with our British DGX team, we are going out for a meal, somewhere in Tottenham Court BUT I'm gutted that the nepalese group can't be here to celebrate it with us. :(

We will cheer drinks to them thou. :)

MOMO.

MOMO.

What can I say about them?

They're delicious!! They're yummy, soft inside but it is difficult to make and it is hard to describe, you'd have to find out for yourself.  :D

But, I will recommend to anyone to try it one day, (you can't get them in England, sadly) I couldn't get enough of it, I usually had it once a week, either;

chicken momo; (chicken are mixed with chicken clearly and onion with sweet but spicy flavouring)

OR

vegetable momo: (vvegetable are mixed with carrots, onion, basil, cabbage, potato, tomato with spices = mouthwatering!!!!!)

After eaten them a few time and I got addicted to them and I literally had them like every two days. Obsessed much? I once tried ''buffalo'' but it tastes vile and I will never tried it again! 

*coughs* can someone please get me a glass of water? QUICK! And I'm sorry Mattie but I just had to. I hope you don't mind...BUT I am SO loving your bald head. :D 

WARNING: Other thing to add, they're quite spicy, I mean really spicy. Just make sure you have a bottle of water beside you.

''The wild elephant ride''

When we saw other people went on an elephant ride, we just knew we want to do THAT! So we tried to find where to pay, where the elephant picks people up and etc. so we went to the reception, bought a ticket for only 200 rupess which means in UK...£2 which was cheaaaap! We were waiting in the queue and we got on the special chair thingy on elephant which feels totally amazing and so scary! it lasts for ten to fifteen minutes but it was worth every seconds of it, afterward I feel so overwhelmed. We loved every minutes of it, but it will be extra special if we swim with the elephant. We wish we were in Chittwan at that time because it is appartently are the best place to be in. :( But there's always other time eh? ;)