A snowy day is better than a rainy day.

WOOOW.



No. No. No. It cannot be December the first ALREADY. How we just ended our last day of November is just fantastic - it has begin to snow.. (funny that. I literally sing ''don't let it snow, don't let it snow, don't let it snow all day on Monday, and talk about Karma. It is a bitch). I personally hate snow but it is no harm of saying that watching snow fallen on the wet grass can be breathtaking. My experience driving in the snow has certainly make me confident than normal, and I don't know what was triggering it. I didn't stall or anything at all. I was almost perfect. AMAZING. I'm getting excited for my driving test now. Coming home with a huge grin on my face and discovered that my younger siblings has broken out of school earlier than usual. They were playing snow fight, Hanni wouldn't leave me alone, she keep giggled and hitted me with snow, so I joined into the fight and it was a barrel of laughs. Afterward, I helped Ayuub making a snowman, but he wasn't happy because Ahmed has gone and ruined it. Maybe we will make another one tomorrow...but bigger. :D

We're coming to an end of the year 2010..this is so surreal and scary..because time does flies fast. I know what I need to do in year 2011, I just need to make the most of it, and without any regrets. For New Year Eve's - I'm staying home, stay warm, maybe having some Indian takeaways with the family and watch the fireworks. Now that's the plan. :D


♥

DSPY.

A night of glam...
People was caked in make up, dresses, ties, suits and high hells.

At Wembley Station, for Deaf Sport Personality of the year Awards 2010 with 900 people attended.

A fantastic night..despite the icy cold weather, brr.

Eid Mubarak.

On Tuesday 16th November 2010, a wonderful day filled with smiles, laughs, hugs & happiness. Four families getting together, enjoy the feast, and our company. May Allah bless us. Masha'Allah.

Abbreviations.

Don't you just hate it when people ends a conversatiom with an ''LOL'' genuis.


I just hates people who uses an ''LOL'' to ends a conversation, that is all. Earlier on, I was browsing the net and I found this, finally a someone truly hates abbreviations. I personally don't mind it, but it can be annoying sometime.


'My friend’s father says that people who use a lot of swear words only do so because they have a limited vocabulary (a comment that has prompted my current attempt to stop swearing).




I feel the same way about abbreviations.



''I can’t abide an LOL, a j/k, or, especially, a ROFL LMAO when there are so many beautiful words you can use! I was thrilled by the advent of QWERTY keyboard mobile phones, since it meant I no longer had to slowly type out every word in my stubbornness. And hurrah for the iPhone, which lets me go on and on using words like “abhorrent” and “incubator” (okay, I’ve never texted the word incubator, but I like knowing that I could).



The same goes for Twitter. Those 140 characters present a challenge to get a message across as succinctly as possible. And it is possible. An entire day can be summed up by saying “The cheeseburger I had for dinner makes up for the fact that I drove into a pond this morning. Sort of.” It’s compelling, it’s amusing, it’s thought-provoking.



Compare that to this: I drv my car in2 a pond ths mrning, now have 2 pay 3k 2 fix, total #fail LOL. But hving awesome cheezburger now @TGIFridays w/pickles #ftw



I don’t even want to try to read it. It makes my eyes sad.'' - I LOVE THIS.


So do abbreviations save time and space or are they just irritating?
DISCUSS.

Friends.

After a few months I've had, I now know the meaning of ''friends'' and I have come to a realisation that there's ONLY two types of friends; True friends who stands by you, be there for you, comfort you, let you cry on their shoulder. Face book friends, who you just say 'hey' occasionally at Deaf events/parties and feel awkward if there's silence between you for a few seconds, who you bumped into once every year or a few, and have a short catch up, you both just go your own, get on with your own lives and forget about each other until you crossed each other's paths again.


After everything that had happened, I'm starting to feel like Moona again, I finally find myself smiling more often, I stopped having nightmares which I'm glad or just stupidly cry or get so angry over such ridiculous stuffs ( funnily enough, I normally don't get angry.) Two weeks ago I starts to go to gym  and I decided that I want to lose weight but I have a huge problem, I love foods too much but I still exercise more often, and I WILL TRY DO IT! My favourite classes are water workout and step up, they made me feel so great!! I'm learning to drive again after stopped for a month and a half, and I'm looking forward to my driving test anyway, in a couple of months. :)


One certain person once told me, that is my mother, she said to me ''you don't need friends to makes your own dreams'' & ''the only person you can always trust is yourself'' and I did had a few flashbacks from my past, I have been betrayed and it wasn't a nice feeling. That is when it hitted me,  no-one is perfect, and everyone had friends like this. I think I know who are my friends, and I very much thank them for complete me, otherwise I wouldn't be the Moona I will be today, so thank you all, and you know who you are, lucky people.
Muchas loves.

I want to be a vampire.

My obsession with vampires is strange. I love TV series, films, books about vampires for instance; True Blood, Vampire Diaries, Twilight Saga books and so on. It is very fascintating because every single series has portrayed vampires in a different way, and sometime I wonders where the hell do they get ideas form? It certainly make me wonders, does vampire exist? Being a vampire is exciting, it has the the unbelieveably beauty, the speed, the strength, and the abilities of compelling people. Funnily enough, in True Blood, being a vampire ain't a bad thing whereas in Vampire Diaries, it does. Know what I wouldn't mind being a vampire, and I'd reckon I will be one sexy mama, hehe.

Everytime Damon Salvator appears on my TV screen, I couldn't stop drooling over him, come to me and Stefan is FIT, that strong cheekbones he has, lucky Elena, and erm Katherine.

I'd prefer Jacob Black any day rather than some ancient posh, pale, ice cold Edward Cullens, mm..

Sookie is a very bizzare person, but I love Jason Stackhouse, who wouldn't want a piece of him? :P but reading minds obviously has it own advantages

*sniggers* I found it on google and I had to put it up on it and it's quite very true. Coming to think of it, there's one disadvantage about vampires, it is the biting part makes my skin crawls, it is giving me goosebumps every time I see blood dripping... *shudders* I think I change my mind of wanting to be a vampire. :P

Rita.

Rita Sapakota, the beautiful, funny, genuine, kind, friendly, respectful well known ever girl walked this earth.

Now, I have finally brought myself to talk about her, Rita Sapakota. You might be wondering who is she?

Well, it's very painful to talk about her, and its more difficult for me to finally accepted that she has passed away.


Sadly on 8th July, the morning of her death...I was doing my usual routine and after gotten too much message on my phone, it's very unlike for me to have this much messages at this time of the day and someone must be very agitated to contact me, the first person I read is Matthew, so I scroll up and up, with a very confusing looks on my face and he mentions that he's sorry but I couldn't understand why. and I realise that Rita is dead, I was having a mixed of feelings, heartbroken, angry, upset, confusing, and I have the urge to shouts but I couldn't and honestly I thought it was a VERY sick joke, but I knew it's not like them and then I read Abigail's and other people too. I quickly texted Dipa and Carolyn, as I don't believe the news, and I will accept it if they have confirmed it. And I realise Cindy and Ola didn't know, so I passed down the messages. I just broken down in tears whilst writing the message to them, I phoned Rita's sister and her dad, and no answers.


If I remembered correctly, my head was in such a state, feeling so frustrated, honestly, and now I'd realised why people get so emotional, fragile and depressed, I finally could empathise them. It was so painful experience to struggling through. I wouldn't wish that on someone else, not even my own enemies. I knew this is the cycle of the life, people are born and eventually they has to die, but I never understood, why? I hate the question ''why?'' because no one really has the right answers to it.


I was left feeling so upset and very hurt. I know people who had been passed away but no one who was so close to me, a part of myself, my life, my experience, my family, and it was becoming too much for me. i just keep crying, praying myself, please do not let this be so true. I went out but I kept all the feelings bottled up inside me, and when I came home a few hours later, I just bursting out sobbing and fall on my knee, my sister Monira, she knew exactly how I felt and it wasn't easier, because it's a few years ago when her good mate got stabbed at one of the party and left to die. But it was different situation, Steven Lewis was killed but Rita didn't want to live, and she took away her life, and I never got the answers..until now, it's an unexplained death.


Strangely enough, it just was a very few days before, me and Katrina meet up for lunch and a bit of chit chat, we actually made plans to visit Nepal, and visit Chitwaan, I wasn't allowed to visit her during VSO due to the high malaria levels in that area and we made plans to stay at Rita's house for a weekend or so too. I was on my way home, with a smile from the cheek to cheek, planning, how much would I need, and when should I book the tickets and etc. I knew Rita will be over the moon to see me again, I'd want to see her wonderful smile and her infamous sparkle in her eyes and also it was a perfect chance to give her some thing she want from England, and no it's not baked beans, ha ha.


A few months passed away, I literally am going through this by myself, I refuse to talk about her with anyone, but I sometime often talk about her with  Samira, Khayrun and Humera, but it doesn't help and I have pictures of her, but when I looked really deep in her eyes, I could tell she's alive and happy somewhere out there.. but I must have this fact stay inside my head, that she's gone forever and if I'm being honestly, I think the hard part of this is when I last saw her was on Wednesday 9th April, I didn't said ''goodbye'' I signed ''see you later'' in Nepali sign language. I only did this was because I didn't believe in goodbyes, and I hate saying goodbyes, I always thinks, what's the point into saying goodbyes when you KNOW you will see them again some day and I regretted it every day, because I didn't know it will be the last time I saw her. I just want to talk to her once more time, and hug her, and laugh with her. But I think really hard, and I know why she done this, I finally accepted it and move on, it was her wish, her choice and we got to learn to respect her wishes.


On Saturday 18th September 2010, we hold a service in Rita's memory, how brilliant is she, how she had achieved a lots throughout her life, she learnt how to sign when she was 17 years old, after struggling communication, language barriers and how she fitted in England, people adores her and her love for England. Nick Moxon spokes out very beautifully words from the bible, along with Amy's poem, Carolyn's speech and myself & Matthew signed song dictated to her, ''I believe I can fly'' by R.Kelly. After this we light up some candles, I feels blessed and happy that she has a good send off service and also I finally accepted the fact she's gone but she's always will be in my heart, and now she is in heaven, smiling and looking down on us. Deep inside I know she's happy, she's somewhere out there smiling.


A few finally words, we all love you, always and forever. xx xx xx xx


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